I’ve realized that the TRUST is not about them. It was never about them. — Most people see trust as what others do. I don’t. At least not most of it. Maybe 1%, maybe 10%, to me, is what people do. The actions they take, their word or their truths. The rest, that 90% or 99%? That’s all me (or all you). Trust is trust…

When talking about messages like this and the people who receive them it’s important to understand that it absolutely does depend on… — On September 4, 2020, d20domme and Subby_girl presented the topic 10 Pitfalls When Approaching A FemDom for Dating Kinky’s FemDom Friday. …

To me, they are so much more than some time before and after sex/kink/play. — I recently saw a post on Facebook with a screen capture of the following by variantworks: “I’ve seen people argue that BDSM & kink is bad because of aftercare. “You don’t NEED aftercare and safe words for vanilla sex because it’s not harmful!” Uh, hate to tell you but aftercare…

I don’t want to be everyone’s safe space. I can’t. I don’t have the energy, and frankly, that’s not my priority. — What makes for a ‘safe’ friend to talk to? I feel like the answer varies with people. For example, I know most of my friends would be devastated if I lied to them, but when I post online about lies, there are always some people who claim that they preferred…

Fearful people will seem fine until they are not, often seeming to change instantly from smiling and sweet to biting and snapping. — Yesterday, Selene called me exasperated. She went off on a rant about dogs. She said she’d rather deal with an aggressive dog than a fearful dog. Because aggressive dogs, you know exactly what you’re getting, and you can work with and around them relatively effectively.

When engaging in behavior modification, inconsistency is the EASIEST way to screw things up. — On June 12, 2021, I presented the topic “Toilet Paper Bondage: Behavior Modification in Power Exchange Relationships” for Dating Kinky’s Weekend Event, ‘My Power, Your Power.’ …

Furthermore, I loathe the idea. To me, it is the antithesis of what love is and should be. — Furthermore, I loathe the idea. It repulses me. To me, it is the antithesis of what love is and should be, at least in a romantic relationship between adults. Now, I’m not saying you can’t love unconditionally. Not at all. I hope you will always do what works for you. …

Consent is key in kink, but I also maintain that it is key in life. — Consent is key in kink, but I also maintain that it is key in life. And, if you’ve been following me for long, you know that I am ALL ABOUT strong boundaries. …

You must not MUST be anything. Do what works for you and your partner(s). — I don’t preach nonmonogamy (although I sometimes want to). In fact, I’ve said it before, poly or nonmonogamy are not for everyone. I personally love being nonmonogamous. It’s led to amazing experiences for myself and my loved ones. So, sure, sometimes, I want to tell people that they can be…