How (And Why) To Get Rejected More Often

Nookie @ Dating Kinky
3 min readMay 8, 2018


Tell DreamBoopsie217 how you feel. Today. Clearly. No room for misunderstanding. From the heart.

I know it can be a terrifying prospect.

  • What if they look disgusted?
  • What if you lose your friendship?
  • What if they tell everyone?
  • What if you can’t handle it?

Do it anyway.

You CAN handle it, and you need to. Because this is only one in a long line of potential rejections coming up into your future with DreamBoopsie217, ESPECIALLY if they say they like you, too.



Because that first volley is only ONE step. In a relationship, there are countless ways to get rejected, and that number times infinity for ways that we avoid risking that rejection and end up fucking up our love.

And it’s not just love. It’s work, it’s friendship. It’s travel. It’s learning.

Pretty much anything we want to do that requires another person somehow (even if it’s only to approve the loan) includes a risk of rejection.

But back to love.

If you’re wanting DreamBoopsie217 to be yours, or anyone else that is beautiful and amazing to you on the inside and the outside, there is going to likely be a long line of potential partners to go through to find the right fit.

And that’s OK.

Because regardless of how you’re rejected, if the fit is not right (in love and life, whatever), you need to be free to move forward to find it.

Think about it:

If that boopsie or job opportunity or dream is one-in-a-million, you have 999,999 potential rejections to go through before getting it. Isn’t it worth it anyway?

So, get rejected more often:

  • Request play from someone you admire.
  • Ask for a raise.
  • Apply for a job that is above your current sill set.
  • Introduce yourself to new people that you find interesting.
  • Tell strangers you find them attractive.
  • Offer your assistance, even when it seems forward.
  • Ask a friend to borrow a fiver (and pay it back, if they say yes).
  • Offer to buy someone a drink.
  • Invite a new friend to join you for dinner.
  • Travel and talk to strangers.
  • Build a new business ask people to buy from you.
  • Reach out to someone you fought with long ago, and say you want to patch things up.
  • Ask for a hug.

And sometimes, you will get what you ask for, no matter how crazy. Like Ji Jang did:

And often, you’ll be rejected.

Getting rejected is GOOD for you.

A fear of rejection will cripple you in everything. Getting used to being rejected can help you build the mental muscle to keep going after your dreams.

And, eventually, you’ll get the “yes” when and where you need it, because you weren’t afraid to ask for it.

And you’ll have healthier relationships when you are able to be more loving and more communicative because you’re not terrified of being rejected.

Originally published at on May 8, 2018. Also available on YouTube and as a podcast.



Nookie @ Dating Kinky

Writing about healthy and fun sex, ethical non-monogamy and kink for everyone, running a kinky dating site at, and exploring life.