Pet Peeve: The “Look at my butthole! Just LOOK AT IT!” Avatar

Let me be clear: I totally get that I’m on a kinky site. I’m on A LOT of kinky sites, and have been longer than many people have known kink existed, or that kinky sites were a thing.

Before that, it was Village Voice personals and the like for me.

And, of course, in person, at amazing kinky events and venues the world over.

So, I’m no stranger to buttholes.

Smooth buttholes.

Hairy buttholes.

Pink buttholes.

Brown buttholes.

Tight buttholes.

Gaping buttholes.

Prolapsed…well, you get it.

Hello, I’ve written a book about playing with buttholes (2, actually). I actually LIKE buttholes.

But not to have a conversation with.

It’s just weird for me.

And yet, I get the bent over, spread cheek butthole avatar at least weekly.

And I don’t understand the reasoning, “Hello, I’m your friendly neighboring butthole, want to have a bit of a chat, eh?”

No.

No, thank you.

And I actually turn people down based on their butthole quite regularly.

I don’t always say so.

Because, let’s face it, in my experience, if someone is using their butthole as their very-best-foot-forward picture of themselves, there are likely MANY other areas we will not be compatible in, and I can usually choose one of those.

For example, they have rarely read my profile in their eagerness to present their butthole and it’s garden of delights to me. So, they have no idea (or have ignored) that I’m not looking for buttholes, or that I don’t do online play, or whatever.

But really, if it’s a butthole, it’s a deal-breaker for me.

I’m not saying it is for everyone, although I have yet to have this conversation come up and hear a single person of any gender say, “Yeh, yannow, the butthole avatar is really DARING option, and I always give extra points.”

Or, really, anything positive.

Although sometimes I do hear, “Meh, I mean, I don’t disqualify them for it…”

I dunno.

I guess I just have a hard time connecting in any sort of meaningful way with either a butthole or a person who feels that the butthole is their best personal representation.

What about you? Are you for or against the butthole avatar?

Originally published at https://datingkinky.com on September 16, 2020.