Pretty often, in comments I get a specific thought posted in varied words from numerous sources.

I HAVE to do ______ (and I don’t want to), to find/have/keep a relationship.

And there is often an example:

I’d rather be playing a video game/reading a book/chilling with friends, but instead I…

I saw a quote the other day on social media by Mark Twain:

“Great people are those who make others feel that they, too, can become great.” — Mark Twain

And like an ear worm, it wouldn’t get out of my head. …

I’ve said it. And meant it. Because when I was younger, I was a bit of a loner and a lot of a tomboy, and I hung out with guys, and that’s what they told me.

I also didn’t see a lot of “me” girls and women on TV, in…

A quote by the great Wayne Gretzky has been following me around, poking me in my gray matter for years.

For those of you who don’t know who Wayne Gretzky is, he’s ah, hockey person.

I’ve meant to write about this quote for quite some time, but for whatever reason…

Let me be clear: I totally get that I’m on a kinky site. I’m on A LOT of kinky sites, and have been longer than many people have known kink existed, or that kinky sites were a thing.

Before that, it was Village Voice personals and the like for me.

Someone who I did not know well told me last year that they could tell I loved them.

I replied that that statement made me uncomfortable. I also noted that many of their pronunciations in the past also did not fit well with me, or accurately portray my thoughts.


I had a conversation recently with someone on a kink site that has stuck in my mind, and bothered me a bit.

Not so much for myself.

But for those who perhaps run afoul of some of the nasties in kink, or those who do their “research” through internet memes…

And no, I don’t mean orgasms. I can’t remember that I’ve ever done that.

I’ve been lucky in that department.

Maybe too lucky, sometimes.

You see, today, I seriously considered playing dead.

Faking that I was done and out of pleasure to be had, because my partner was keeping my…

One night last year, I met a kinkster from out of town for some tea and chat, and the topic of making a real connection came up.

I said that if you aren’t open and honest from the beginning about who you are, you’re crippling your potential relationship.

The moment…

I’ve been writing. And editing. A lot.

Not as much as I should be.

In fact, this COVID things has had me in a bit of a slump and I’m behind.

But I’ve written over 500,000 words this year so far, in books and blogs and classes and writings, and…

Nookie @ Dating Kinky

Writing about healthy and fun sex, ethical non-monogamy and kink for everyone, running a kinky dating site at, and exploring life.

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